Imagine waiting for the coast guard or whatever to show up and instead a replica of 18th century merchant ship pulls up and tows you to the coast.
its been about 10 years since she showed me this but i am STILL thinking about how my (then) 4 year old cousin drew birds
OBSESSED with this creature; she draws the body from above/below and the head from the side, with a giant eyeball that takes up the entire head and never looks in a specific direction. in a very old-fashioned sense: iconic
Yeah I would have guessed this was on some ancient pottery or something
call that bird's eye view
Alien: What is the point of this game?
Human: It doesn’t have one; you can do whatever you want.
Alien: Can I burn this world and leave nothing but ash?
Human: Disturbingly specific but go ahead.
————
Alien: How do I get wood?
Human: Punch some trees.
Alien: ………..
Alien: Punch some trees.
Human: Yup.
Alien: Are you mocking me?
Human: What?
Alien: Do you think I’m some sort of joke?
Alien: An object of ridicule for your amusement!?
Human: Okay, before you over react let me just show you.
Alien: *Starts reaching for sword when they see the human literally start punching trees for wood*
Alien: Oh. *Puts sword away* My apologies.
————-
Human: Why aren’t you playing?
Alien: There is a monster in my home.
Human: Is it an ender man?
Alien: No.
Human: Skeleton?
Alien: No.
Human: Creeper?
Alien: Nope.
Human: …………
Human: Zombie?
Alien: Thwarp no.
Human: *Takes controller and goes inside the house* What could it possibly be-
*Sees creature*
Human: That is a pig.
Alien: It is the stuff of nightmares.
Human: What the hell is scary about a pig?
Alien: Look into its eyes.
Alien: It has no soul; no remorse.
—————-
Alien: What are you making?
Human: A doomsday device.
Alien: Are you allowed to build that on a public server?
Alien: Surely the admins would seek to stop you.
Human: They can’t stop it if they can’t find it.
Alien: What did you build?
Human: I placed a claim block, fifty blocks down, and started a cow farm.
Alien: That doesn’t sound so bad.
Human: There are currently five hundred cows in a four block pen.
Human: I have seen the amount of lag it generates drive men to madness.
Alien: You are the worst of your species.
—————
Alien: How goes it?
Human: I’ve created a massive creeper farm.
Alien: Dear gods why?!?!
Human: I want to see what happens when one of them is hit by lightning.
Alien: Why?
Human: I heard that it turns them into a super creeper.
Alien: Why would you want to make the sentient explosive even deadlier?
Human: To leave as a surprise for that griefer who blew up my chicken farm last week.
Alien: Ah.
—————-
Alien: What are you building today?
Human: A nether portal
Alien: Is that the purple doorway thing in front of you?
Human: Yup.
Alien: What does it do?
Human: It’s a portal to this world’s version of hell.
Alien: WHAT?!
Alien: Is that not dangerous?
Human: I mean, I want glow stone for my city; and the only place to get glow stone is in the nether.
Alien: I weep for this world that has you as its caretaker.
—————
Alien: Why is all the sand from my beach gone?
Human: Needed it.
Alien: For what?
Human: Copious amounts of TNT.
Alien: Do I even want to know why?
Human: Remember that village that I defended only for the golem to attack me?
Alien: Yeah.
Human: Good.
Human: Because that memory of yours is all that is left of it.
———–
*stumbling down extensive mine network to find human friend deep underground.*
Alien: You ever coming topside again?
Alien: I just found these things called “Pandas” and they are adorable.
Human: Not until I find a diamond.
Alien: Oh gods, here we go again.
Human: There’s only fucking copper down here!
Human: What the hell can I even use for copper!?!
Alien: I think you can make lightning rods out of them.
Human: Oh yeah, sure, lightning rods.
Human: I’m sure those will be useful SIXTY BLOCKS UNDERGROUND!!!!
————
Human: What’s this?
Alien: I’ve created an elaborate rail system that will allow me to transfer the citizens of one village to another village to make it a super village!
Human: Isn’t that considered kidnapping and human trafficking?
Alien: ………..
————-
Alien: I have created these five iron golems to protect my home.
Alien: Nothing shall destroy it while I am away!
*Alien leaves into mines*
*Returns after an hour of mining to find the entire home destroyed by creepers*
Alien: What the flarp!
Alien: Where are my go-
*Turns to see all five golems distracted by some flowers*
————-
Alien: Something just occurred to me.
Human: What’s that?
Alien: If you can use the portal to this nether, why can’t things down there use it to escape?
Human: Pfft.
Human: That’s impossible.
Alien: Is it?
Human: *Dramatic pause before sprinting over to portal with alien behind him*
*Both arrive to find legion of pigmen pouring out from the portal*
Alien: Congratulations, you created the end times.
Alien: I hope that glow stone was worth it.
Human: *draws sword* It really was.
Your new roommate is an android. You could tell when you saw them, their skin is pretty obviously artificial material, their eyes glow a little, and they have that voice and those mannerisms that a lot of them have. They're warm to the touch, warmer than any human, most androids are warmer than humans despite the serotypes. This isn't surprising, you've met a lot of androids before, and you know a lot go to this school.
What is surprising is that they don't admit it. They call themself a human, act dismissive towards the idea of androids as part of human society, try to avoid anything that's part of android culture. You adapt pretty quickly to referring to them as a human, but you'll always know they aren't. You assume it's because of bigotry, you know androids still face a lot of social issues, but bigots can still tell they're an android as much as you can. And it's not like things are like they were back in the 21st century, especially in a college in a large city, bigots can't just openly say they hate nonhumans, they're subtle in ways that make pretending to be a human hurt even more. But you are human, so you think it's best not to say anything.
You see how much your roommate sacrifices just to look human. They never show any skin other than their face and hands, which makes overheating even worse. They waste hours trying to fake sleep, when everyone knows they can't sleep, they always make excuses as to why they can't eat any given meal. And you can't even mention nonhumans around them without them being dismissive of anyone openly nonhuman. They don't have solidarity with any other androids, can't participate in any of the things on campus specifically designed for people like them. You want them to be happy, and you know they'd just be happier if they admitted being what everyone knew they were.
There's a lot of nonhumans in your friend group, a lot of clones and cyborgs, and one or two androids. Most of the time you don't think about how they aren't human. But not your roommate, you always think about how they're an android because you have to in order to pretend you think they're human.
And they become so proud of their humanity. Humanity they don't even have. Like they're loving the fact that they can say that they're human, that they can say they're part of the most privileged group in the solar system. It's almost like they're larping as a character, they've mentioned family on Mars at this point, family that you know they physically can't have. It's best to just pretend.
Your roommate knows a lot about certain places, about how certain practices work, places and practices that are horrifying to think even still exist. Places where android suffer in ways that make you feel guilty just to be a human. Places only someone whose been there could know about. It's a miracle this person is in college at all. They don't want to be an android, don't want to be able to be hurt the way only their kind is hurt.
Eventually they cut their face. Cut it deeply enough so that you can see they don't bleed, so that you can see the metal under their plastic skin. They have to walk around like that for a while, they can barely go to class, barely talk to anyone, knowing they can't pass for human. By the time they get the cut fixed everyone knows, well everyone always knew, some people are confused because they didn't even know your roommate wanted to be a human.
When you talk to them again you realize they expected you to want nothing to do with them. They're still uncomfortable around other nonhumans, they don't want to be one of them, but they can still talk to you. They're not even wearing clothing, they don't need it, their only skin is on their head and hands, everything else is raw steel, but they still look themself despite everything. They expected you to see them differently, if anything you see them as an android less now.
When you hug them, it's warmer than any human hug could be.
